The College Responds

Well, I asked where the response was from our college: It was there, out there, but hidden away on back pages, not making it to the internet lists of headlines, certainly not on the fromt pages of our papers. I know not many people read here, but maybe, somehow, this will help to spread the word.

The following media releases are a good start:
Midwifery care is safe
Dominion Post Rebuttal
Sally speaks


But are they enough? No, because they are not seen, except by us, and our supporters: How do we get the media to accept that we are safe, and reasonable, and responsible professional practitioners? We are not crazy hipy's attending births in secret and fear: Midwives globally are not the witches and baby killers we are made out to be. Not here, not in America, not in the UK (I would link to Agatha, but she has been chased out of blogging, by breaking the "rules" which say you can't mention a problem in public without getting shut down! NOTE: Agathat did not break any rules, but readers will know that her blog has gone. This is because she was accused of breaching the same rules referred to in the linked article. I read her blog avidly, and did not see her bringing the profession into disrepute, or being unprofessional, nor breaching patient rights: she just argued for change. Apparently, censorship is OK if you are the NMC, regardless of your members opinions!) any of the places we are still fighting to be treated as normal professional human beings!

Karen says in her article in yesterdays dominion post: We are saying enough is enough.

We support and believe in women's right to seek an investigation into events, and answers to their questions, but that DOES NOT make all midwives answerable for the actions of one. We do not accept that this should be done through the media in a blatant show of sensationalism not applied to any other medical dispute. We say NO to the idea that a midwife be tried in the media, instead of through the appropriate and LEGAL process developed by government for ALL health care practitioners to be mediated. We will NOT be accused of being unsafe and dangerous by people with no knowledge or basic understanding of who we are, what our job is and what our training entails.

Midwives of the world, we face the same fights: It comes in different forms, but the fight is the same. And we fight it because we dare to be women, working mainly for and with other women. Let's do this together! what works for one, can be held up to all as an example... and at the end of the day, midwifery improves outcomes and saves lives. Lets shout that to the rooftops, as loud as we can.

Tagged

My big sister, Denise tagged me with the following assignment:
1. Write the title to your own memoir using SIX words.
2. Post it on your blog.
3. Link to the person that tagged you.
4. Tag 5 more blogs.


She had a very cool and pretty image to go with her title, but I am not that clever (well, I am clever, but not having an artistic bone in my body, cause she got them all, I have to make do with merely writing!)

so, what would I call my memoir?

"why I never travelled the world"


If you are around and have the time, I tag

Kristina at Red spiral
Agatha
My very special friend the Jewish midwife
Pamela
Barb

and now the chance to stand up.....

Already, we are in the news again: with the call that we must Let the Babies Live and the suggestion that us midwives should be better trained and supervised as Baby's death was avoidable. Now. I do not know the details of this case.... It doesn't look great, does it, from reading those two articles? But, mystery recently qualified independent midwife, whether you were right or wrong, my thoughts are with you. If you need words of support and care, find them here. As you walk into the fire (along with your "midwife supervisor" whatever that may be), know that I am walking along beside you, in spirit if not in body.

So, the next question.... why aren't midwives fighting back in the papers? Why aren't we pointing out that we are over worked, under paid, and often under supported? When the senior and junior doctors strike, who supports the labouring women? US. When the cleaners are on strike, who picks up the slack on maternity? US. Are we thanked for this? No. Are we paid for this? No. Are we given annual pay reviews, and offered what we are worth? No. Do we do what we do because we love it? Yes. Otherwise, Goddess knows, we wouldn't do it for the money or the glory!

As Karen Guilliland said in this months Midwifery news, midwifery issues are global, and women who are cared for by midwives have better outcomes: So why WHENEVER anything goes wrong, is it always us "dangerous" midwives being hauled over the coals? Why when doctors stuff up (and we all know they do) do they come out of it unscathed, unphotographed, and certainly unjudged? Why do we say "well, they are only human, they can't be perfect, they do their best" when doctors err, but mount a full scale witch hunt against ALL midwives if a midwife makes an error?

Why are we held to a higher standard? why must we be perfect, to prove our right to do what we have ALWAYS done, care for women? Sometimes, awful things happen. sometimes, babies die. sometimes, mothers die. sometimes, people get sick, or hurt and sometimes we can't fix that. But most of the time, we get it right. Most of the time, we improve the outcomes. Most of the time, we FIX problems. When does that get to be front page news? When do we MAKE that front page news?

I am sorry to my sisters.

We don't support each other enough. When the going gets tough, we judge and whisper. We owe each other more than that. We owe each other more than "there but for the grace of God (or Goddess) go I" as we bow our heads to avoid judgement by association. So, the next tme a midwife is being balled out, in person or in the media, I will stand up with her. Bala Naidu made some mistakes. She wasn't perfect. But the witch hunt that took place, and her abandonment by her sister's during a three year ordeal due to mistakes that ANY ONE OF US could have made.... (And when the proceeding rather than just the judgements are released, we will be able to see that this is true) she did not deserve that. I have never met Bala, but I apologise to her, in this forum, for not standing beside her in her hour of need.

But, Bala's is an extreme case. I also would like to apologise to my sister's who I have seen or heard being run down or attacked by colleagues in the staff room or public. To the ones who are called lazy and uncommitted, when I KNOW they are neither of those things, but just trying to avoid Bala's fate. To the one's who are called "dodgy" cause they believe women have a right to choose where she births. I daresay that the same is said about me when i am not there to defend myself.

The shortage of midwives in NZ should bring us together....instead it seems to drive us apart and make us attack each other with undue cause. I am sorry to my sisters for being part of that. It stops today.

Whoops, where did the time go?

How did it come to be the end of JUNE? I am mind blown that it has been so long since I was last here! So, personal updates, which may explain my absence to any who care... I moved house, to a bigger, prettier, more expensive house ten minutes from where I was before. I had a student from Scotland come stay and follow me around for three weeks (Hi Karen!!!!). I caught six babies, supported three women through Caesareans and missed one birth (the first one I have missed!). My little man turned seven, and I did a whole lot of crazy prep work for my partner joining me in January (Blonde Ambition will be on board soon). Sorry for abandoning you all, work recommences as of now.

On a quiet day...

I sit and see the wind blowing through the trees, visible in the leaves moving, the boughs bending. I hear the rustle of the leaves, and the whoosh of the air moving. But wind is invisible. Not there to be seen. It can be felt, it can be heard. So it is with so much in our lives. The eividence of a phenomenon exists in the doing, in the feeling, in the hearing. But not actually, tangibly present.

That's all.

My first birth....

Well, inspired again by NG's call for us to share our stories, I thought, what a way to procrastinate doing any of my required reading and other hard work. So here is the story of how I came to be Alyssa's mum. It was a bit of a typical first timers tale, but here goes anyway. At the ripe old age of seventeenn years and 25 days, I began "labour" with my daughter. Well, I say labour. I thought it was labour. But, like so many other first timers, I had NO IDEA what I was expecting. I started having (what I now know were very mild) contractions, every ten minutes at about 11 pm. All night, I stayed up, timing and counting and waiting for more to happen. Nothing much changed, except I got really tired. I went to the hospital at 11am, and was sent home, not dilated. I went back at 3 pm and was sent home, again, only 1 cm dilated. Noone explained to me what was happening. Noone told me about latent labour, or how to cope with it. Just, "go home and come back when it get's worse". So, back I popped at six pm. And now I was the magic three cm's. So I was given the gas, and an ARM. Time to "get on with it".

Wow, oh boy, is there a good eason for not going to the hospital early? the impact of an ARM is understated hugely. They told me it would get things moving (no mention of risks like cord prolapse or infection, mind you). They didn't tell me that my pain, if not my labour, was about to enter warp drive! For half an hour after the ARM, nothing much happened. I got in the bath, but I didn't like it, and halfway down the hall to return to my room, the contractions hit. And how. Every two minutes, I contracrted for a full minute. Now, prior to that I had been having these pissanty little 20 second tightenings... I actually thought I was quite a tough girl, and that labour was nowhere near as bad as everyone said... screaming in pain I was given the gas and put on the monitor. Now just take a second and look at this picture:



Ok, so WHY did I need monitoring? I was 17, in perfect health, and labouring spontaneously (albeit with an ARM). But, instead of support I got my machines, and my gas, and I got left, on my back, on the bed. (by the way, it was 1993, and GHD's did not exist, and my hair ALWAYS looked like that. *shudder*) Back then, that was what labor care consisted of. My GP came and went, through the night. At around midnight, they decided my progress was slow, and I needed an epidural, so that I could get some sleep. I said no, thanks. they said, you have to have one. I said,it hurts. They then called the anaesthetist, who was busy at an appendectomy (I remember that being the joke), and I waited. Now, my memory of this is that I had no choice. I know now that I had a choice, but then, I thought, literally, that I had to have the epidural.

So, eventually epidural sited, I went to sleep... and woke up, alone, in pain, and with my birth partners shooed from the room. I could not reach my call bell, and was completely terrified in the half dark, where I lay for twenty minutes till my partner came in to get something from his bag. I ordered him and the other two back in the room, and someone (I don't know who) came and topped up my epidural..... THEN examined me and told me it was time to push. It was three am.

I had a full and complete numb all the way up to the top of my belly. I couldn't feel someone touching my leg or foot. But, it was time to push. So I did. or, rather, I tried. I pushed whenever the midwife nodded at me that it was time. I pushed like I was "going for the biggest pooh of my life" flat on my back with my feet held up in the air. I pushed and pushed..... and nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. They decided that I wasn't very good at this and after nearly two hours of this, they suggested a c- section, and left to organise it. while they were gone, my big sister and friend who were there, helped my completely unresponsive body up into a squat, supported by them. And in that position, I pushed. And something happened: my baby starting to surge down the birth canal.

The midwife called the GP who returned to catch my baby girl as she flew into the world. No tears, not grazing, nothing, just a ring of fire burning that hurt like hell, but was oh so sweet cause it meant I didn't have to have surgery, which terrified me. Again, my birth was so typical of first timers: I knew nothing. I was told what to do and when to do it. But unlike others, I was lucky enough to survive it with not only a healthy baby, but an intact perineum and abdomen to boot! Alyssa weighed 7lb 5oz. And this is the first photo of her.... If you look really closely between all those hands, you can see her little leg!


Seventeen months later, I was back for Erika, and a very different birth. but what stayed with me, forever, was just how lonely I felt, and how little I understood what happened to me. Not long ago, I snuck a peak at my labour notes in my hospital records: They do not tell my story. I do not even know how to tell my story, cause so much of it, I didn't get told about. I don't know if I had a syntocinon (pitocin) drip. It was awful. but, from that xperience, a midwife was born.... and so was my beautiful, wonderful, intelligent daughter, now nearly fifteen: Alyssa.