Sunday, April 29, 2007

Introspection?

I have spent the day running: trying to organise all the things that I must organise in order to
open my independent practice by it's due date (I think it may need a post dates induction, if I don't get more organised), trying to get some housework done, trying to arrange meetings with the bank manager and the inland revenue department (okay, I wasn't trying very hard on that level). While doing all that running, I have continually tripped over my past. I thought most people knew what I did now, but today, all day, I have run into people I knew in my previous life, who are shocked to find their once level headed banker colleague is now, of all things, a midwife!

And all that tripping over the past made me think just how much my life has changed in the last five years, and just how right that change has felt. How even though I am about to enter yet another stage of change and transition, I don't regret a bit of it. So, seeing as this is my first post, I might as well start where it started, in the past. Six years ago, I was a banker. I worked mainly in complaints resolution, trying to appease people from whom my company had (often unfairly) taken money. Funnily enough, I was very good at my job. I was convincing and calming, and knew how to sell. But oh, how the soullessness of it drained me.

Then I fell pregnant, and had a beautiful baby boy, and my entire life changed. Seeing as I wasn't working anyway (I wasn't earning enough money to justify letting my son be raised by a daycare) I investigated returning to study, which I did when he was two. And when he started school last year, I entered my final semester of a degree in midwifery. In my journey to qualification, my life, my friends and my loves have changed. Nothing really stays the same when you make such a drastic career change, and I am no exception. So here I stand, a different woman, but containing the old me, and starting a new life.

The point of this blog for me is to rediscover some of my old loves, incorporated into my new life. I have always written, but in the last three years, my poetry and stories have been replaced by reflections and essays. I want the old stuff back, but I think it might be mpossible to leave out the new stuff: So any who read this blog, will follow a journey of both self discovery and rediscovery. Comment on my writing, comment on my words: If they move you, or touch or even just annoy you, I want to hear it!