This post was a while ago, but I now have a follow up on the story, that raises more questions than it answers.
I was at the hospital the other day, and ran into the social worker involved in that case. She asked me if I had heard from CYPFS. "Errrm, no?" I replied, slightly confuzzled.
She then told me that my client has been admitted to hospital twice after beatings, and the child is now at the centre of a massive custody battle. The partner is wanted by the police for assault and battery and CYPF's are asking why "something wasn't DONE". WTF? we BEGGED them to do something! Everyone who was involved in the case had nightmares about the potential headlines, and now, although it is not the baby being beaten (to our knowledge) they are coming true, and WE are in the wrong!???
Sorry, got a bit carried away there. I guess my point is, that this woman had the right and the responsibility to avail herself of help all those months ago. While I agree it is sad that she may now lose her child, this was her decision. Her plan to "change him" didn't pan out, and now, the shit has (predictably) hit the fan. but, my question to you, my intelligent and opionated readers, is what could I have done to hellp her make a different, better decision? Anything? Suggestions, please!
Showing posts with label Domestic violence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Domestic violence. Show all posts
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Making a difference... can it be done?
I have been so busy the last little while, that I have barely gotten the chance to think about things let alone write! But now tat the dust is settling, I have a reflection to share. Domestic violence. What is it? Does it have to involve physical fighting? How do you help someone who refuses to acknowledge a problem?
I had a client recently who presented with huge and overwhelming evidence of domestic violence in her life. Over a seven week period, no HCP who came in contact with her (and there were alot, two hospitals, three wards!) doubted that her partner was abusive, and many asked me what I was "doing about it". I had discussed the evidence with my client over and over. She denied abuse. She denied personal danger, and declined information on violent relationships. I referred her to social work, expressing to the SW the concerns that existed: My client denied violence. An episode occurred in the hospital, with security and police called. A referral was made to CYPFs. They did an assessment of the environment, and cleared her for discharge. There was not enough evidence of abuse, despite all the concerns raised.
And so, I wonder. We live in this country at present in a climate of intoerance for abuse. Ad's on TV tell us clearly and repeatedly, "It's not ok." The murder of the Kahui twins, of Nia Glassie, and of so many other babies, are held up as warnings. We must intervene, HCP's are told. We must ask every woman if she is abused. But if the woman says she isn't, then nothing, nothing can be done. I don't know for certain if this woman was abused. I don't know for certain that she or her baby were or are at risk. I know we had a trusting, caring relationship. I know she knew it was safe to tell me things... because there were other issues which she did disclose and seek my assistance with. But what is it that we should do, what is that we should say, that will make it possible to change the abuse cycle?
Answers on a postcard.
I had a client recently who presented with huge and overwhelming evidence of domestic violence in her life. Over a seven week period, no HCP who came in contact with her (and there were alot, two hospitals, three wards!) doubted that her partner was abusive, and many asked me what I was "doing about it". I had discussed the evidence with my client over and over. She denied abuse. She denied personal danger, and declined information on violent relationships. I referred her to social work, expressing to the SW the concerns that existed: My client denied violence. An episode occurred in the hospital, with security and police called. A referral was made to CYPFs. They did an assessment of the environment, and cleared her for discharge. There was not enough evidence of abuse, despite all the concerns raised.
And so, I wonder. We live in this country at present in a climate of intoerance for abuse. Ad's on TV tell us clearly and repeatedly, "It's not ok." The murder of the Kahui twins, of Nia Glassie, and of so many other babies, are held up as warnings. We must intervene, HCP's are told. We must ask every woman if she is abused. But if the woman says she isn't, then nothing, nothing can be done. I don't know for certain if this woman was abused. I don't know for certain that she or her baby were or are at risk. I know we had a trusting, caring relationship. I know she knew it was safe to tell me things... because there were other issues which she did disclose and seek my assistance with. But what is it that we should do, what is that we should say, that will make it possible to change the abuse cycle?
Answers on a postcard.
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