In my everyday life, I believe in self fulfilling prophecies. If you think it, you may make it so. I often use this method to try and get my vacuuming done... but although that doesn't often work, I still believe that what we think might happen often comes to be so. And the more energy we give to that thought, the more likely it is to occur. For example, I believed I would be happier when I started my independent practice. I thought I would have more time for my family, and be more energetic. I believed it had to be better than working in the hospital. And it has so very definitely come to pass.
But, like every good thing, it has it's reverse aspect. negative beliefs seem to be given more mind space, and so often, we believe in a negative. So we believe that we CANNOT. Cannot achieve, cannot succeed, cannot birth. And that is what sparks this post. A woman, who honestly has said to me at every one of her (22!!) Antenatal visits, "I will need a cesarean" in some variation, finally began labour at 41+3. She then contracted for twelve hours at three minutes apart, lasting a minute to ninety seconds, and managed to get to ........ 2 cm dilated. The head was high, the contractions were "unbearable" and slowly, but surely, things went Tit's up. FH was high, and a CTG was commenced. Baseline: 160 bpm. Long story short, after about 16 hours of labour, a cesarean section was performed, with a FH baseline of 200 bpm. At 2 cm's. A normal size baby in OA position was born, with heavy mec staining and apgars of 6&9.
Why did this happen? Did she believe this would happen because intuitively she knew there was going to be a problem? Or did her belief create the reality? Could I have saved her alot of heartache by pushing for an elective CS at term for maternal request? Would she have even been happy if she wasn't "saved" by the doctors who operated to deliver her of her burden? I struggle with this aspect: How do you help the woman who wants to be saved, not empowered? Is it right to try and empower someone who sees herself as inadequate, and doesn't mind?
Agatha raises interesting points about language here and a similar vein of discussion occurs on One Hot Mama's site. Both of these post's struck a chord with me, originally sparked by Barbara. I don't know quite how my ramblings are going to end up linked to their thoughts on language and empowerment, but it is brewing. Just so you all know.
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Mmmmm... that's really interesting. I'm not sure what the answer is though - in fact, I think there isn't one!
I think that some women are self-fulfilling prophecies, I think that some women have the power within themselves to determine their labours & births. & I think some women haven't a hope in hell & are going to have a tough time of it, regardless. Not necessarily a tough time because their baby is 'too big' or OP or whatever, just that mentally, it's just not within them to do it.
I don't mean that to sound disparaging, but I really believe that some women cannot do it. They just cannot. & I wish that weren't the case & I wish I knew why... Some women do not want to be 'saved' & we are doing them a disservice by even trying.
I know of a woman who complained & demanded a new midwife after being refused an elective section. She made this decision at 14 weeks & had no fear of birth/labour etc, she just did NOT want to give birth. She got her elective & was thrilled. Bizarre.
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